Second week of 2011. I was a bit enthusiastic last week, but this week, I was becoming distressed. At my second weekend of 2011, I did nothing. So yeah, my Saturday was a bum; I didn't clean my room. Until now, it still isn't clean.
Got angry at my parents for complaining indirectly about me and blaming that I was guilty when I walked away though I personally wasn't guilty. I only walked away to stop listening to them. And that concluded me thinking, "I'll show them! I'll prove them wrong. I will find a job." (I definitely was wrong here. I should be proving to God, not anyone.)
Throughout the week, I was thinking of my future and 2011. I wanted to do more in 2011, more than I did in 2010, which I really did nothing meaningful at all. I wanted to accomplish my plans: (1) really find a job, (2) grab my transcript, (3) go back to school to finally get a better job for me than nursing, (4) slowly complete my application for a foreign school, (5) SAVE MONEY, (6) keep a clean room (after my room's painted), (7) continue with my project, (8) read more than 5-10 books, and (9) consistently read the Bible. (These aren't new year's resolutions; they're lifetime resolutions which I hope to keep until accomplished.)
This week, I was in that near-meltdown-mood (though I still am today). But somehow, I had been holding it down though I wanted to release it but I'd be destructive or it's all weird and not normal.
And I got locked from my car yesterday. I left my key inside again. This time, I also left my bag inside. When these things happen, it's no surprise when I was angry or just lost in thoughts. These were also the times when I trusted God completely for my safety and everything else. Got me up and working just like when I got sick. I was also glad yesternight that the hospital allowed me to use their phone than the phone booth for I had none in my pocket (no coins), and was able to remember our new home phone number right. Thank God for my brother the rescuer.
Oh, and I also had my first photo shoot yesterday morning with my brother. I found my pictures beautiful. Led me to accept offers for photo shoot for 6 prom girls and a photo booth for Chinese new year (both in February). Next, I should be researching for the cost or pricing. This would be one of my tasks this week.
Praise God for Bible Studies too, but I also wish we get to learn more from the Bible than just always sharing about ourselves longer than learning the Bible. And I am not liking the kind-of-nonsense cliches or I just don't get their jokes.
Anyway, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, strength." (Luke 10:27a)
I hope to practice loving God this week with (10) building a habit to organize my tasks for the day each day, each week, and (11) heartily accomplishing my tasks: first by waking up at 8AM and sleeping at 10PM (exluding today, I'm still writing my journal for 2nd week, GULP!).
God, please help me live rightfully to you. Thank you for loving me when nobody does, giving your time with me, listening to every word I say even my complaints, watching over me, and constantly reminding me how to live for you.
In Jerusalem I pray, (OOPS! Hehe. This actually happened when I prayed to God today.) In Jesus' name, so forever pure and holy name, AMEN.
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