The Inner Turmoil In Me

I seek for LOVE.
I seek for CARE.
I seek for ATTENTION when it's not there.
But the more I seek them,
the more I don't want 'em.
I only know I have them
is when I don't expect for them.
But really, here's the paradox:
I don't want LOVE.
I don't want CARE.
I don't want ATTENTION when it is there.

(That's a subjective part of me.
The objective?
If you've read my past profile updates,
then those were my objective part of me.
If not, then halfly you don't know me.)

I need your LOVE.
I need your CARE.
I need your ATTENTION to know who I am.
But your LOVE, you have not given.
Your CARE, you have not shown.
Your ATTENTION easily fades away.
So, I don't want your LOVE
nor do I want your CARE.
Your ATTENTION, I don't want,
for you forget me.

It hurts to be neglected.
Hurts when "left behind",
"left out", "unwanted", "unheard".
Pains when I show my self
and you never notice.
If not, you lend your apathy on me
like I don't deserve to be known.

Will I just be forever quiet,
mysterious and unsought
for who I am, remain dormant,
and just be a NOBODY?

Here Is A Man? (taken from just-think-of-it.blogspot.com)

We think of ourselves as free and wild, but what does a man do when trouble strikes him? We find people who can provide our needs. Some seek for therapy, some for books, and some find religion. What is the difference of such things? None as much as I can think of, but they are similar that these things can still lead to emptiness in the future.

What I think is that people can't help you, therapy can neither, nor self-help books, not even religion. Religion? You say. Yes, religion can't help you nor can it save you, but Jesus can. Jesus is not religion,, but a relationship. Our friends, family can provide little for us but they can't always provide everything that we ask or expect, but Jesus can. In relationships, we come to our friends and family. In Jesus, we come to know him personally and not from what people say who he is, and come to reconciliation to God the Father. Reconciliation always involve relationships. How can you be reconciled when you don't know the person?