How should I ever be confused? - Notes from May 11 07

Being a Christian may not be easy. There are skips and turns, ups and downs. Never be assured that once a Christian, life is a "piece of cake".

Here is what I wrote last May 11, 2007:

How can I be a witness of Christ when I am uncertain of myself?
How can I be an ambassador of Christ when I am not right with Him?
How can use a present experience of loneliness or difficulty to witness Christ?
I would feel like a hypocrite if I represent myself as God's child when I myself am not right with God.
How can I be forgiving and loveing? I don't know.
How do I know I have not forgiven? Have forgiven? Is it because I dislike being with the people that I ever thought I have forgiven them?
How can I be true to myself when out-house and in-house I am different in both? Which am I? Which of me is true and false?
I have been told I am arrogant and conceited. How and why? Am I really? Should I go back to my being inferior all the time when I am trying to gain myself superioirity? I no longer know how to go back as I was before. Besides, inferiority hurts because being inferior means always being left out, knows new things late, ignored much, feeling less important, inexistent, always feeling abused and tortured emotionally, always taken aback or taken advantage of.